I'm a filthy fat slob lying on the couch eating Pringles, watching TNG's that have stacked up in my Tivo thanks to Spike airing three each weekday, playing Prince of Persia 2, reading blogs that dont seem to update fast enough for all of my obsessive checking, checking my e-mail, reading Neverwhere, eating See's candy, planning my day as it dwindles, lamenting my laziness as it festers, watching the clock as it laps me, fighting the urge to do nothing by filling my hands and mind with more nothing, planning my next big adventure, knowing my plans will not happen, longing for something uncertain, wishing that wasting time felt worse, justifying all of it with writing.
I haven't showered in two days because I don't have to. I have nowhere to be, no one to see, nothing to do, no plans to cancel, not a commitment to honor, no calls to avoid, no errands to run, nothing that's pressing. It feels great. It's a friday night and the weekend brings reprieve for some, more free time for others. Maybe I'll shower by tomorrow. But at this point, the only motivation I have to do that is that my head is itchy and I smell like a hobo.
Perhaps that's enough.
You, sir, are a slug. And sometimes it's a fine thing to be (except for the smelling like a hobo part). The Russian word for slug is "sleezNYAK". Just a handy word. I like being able to call people "sleeznyaki" when they are "experiencing a period of low energy and/or activity". I often wonder if "sleeznyak" is the origin of the English word sleazy.
Enjoy your sluglikeness. Sluginess? Slugnificence.
Posted by: Merujo | 06/24/2005 at 09:16 PM
Shower! Please! For the sake of your family! Then promptly plant you butt back down on the couch, I am a firm believer of being a potatoe when the opportunity presents itself.
Posted by: Amethyst | 06/24/2005 at 09:37 PM
I pray to the powers that be that you at least brushed your teeth?! For your wife and daughter's sake, I hope so.
This is a peek into the life of an actor, me thinks....work, work, work, crazy work...audition, audition, audition...wait, wait, wait....nothing to do......enjoy the break...break too long, need work....new job! Work, work, work.....etc
An exercise in extremes, a lifestyle the majority of us will never experience, or want to. It takes a special kind of person to have the resilience to live the life of an actor.
You are that special kind of person.
Posted by: sharfa | 06/24/2005 at 10:40 PM
Sounds like Poker time to me!
Posted by: Matt | 06/24/2005 at 10:51 PM
My whole thing about you inspiring others to follow your example? Still applies, even when we're not talking about blogging.
Except for the hobo part...
Posted by: Magazine Man | 06/25/2005 at 12:07 AM
I'm jealous. Where do I get a gig like that?
Posted by: Sonja | 06/25/2005 at 12:28 AM
I've been to that starbucks, and went to school at that elementry school kitty corner from you (*serious cringe*).
Enjoy the lazyness before you get sick and tired of it.
M
Posted by: M | 06/25/2005 at 12:45 AM
Ah... Unemployment.
Enjoy it while you can, because soon we'll all be busy again and none of us will see the light of day until the next hiatus!
Posted by: Peggy Archer | 06/25/2005 at 02:02 AM
Yay for PBS!!!
And yay for being lazy. I am being lazy too, but unlike you I have a million things to get done - I'm at that procrastination point when there's just too much to do that it's easier just to decide not to do ANY of it!
Posted by: Carol | 06/25/2005 at 02:50 AM
Shane,
I think you need another hobby. Try hitting golf balls or knitting, I hear that is real popular with actors.
Posted by: Lisa A. | 06/25/2005 at 03:49 AM
hum... potato... I'm seriously looking forward to my next two days off - just so I can catch up on day one, and then relax on day two. Anything more than two days is heaven! Enjoy it!
Posted by: Khali | 06/25/2005 at 05:17 AM
Oh, shizNILLY, Mister. You are describing my DREAM. We just got Tivo and we got no time to use it with our upcoming wedding. When we are good and wedded, everything will stop but the snacks and the books and the magazines and the TI. VO.
Posted by: Tina | 06/25/2005 at 06:05 AM
Also, thanks for the plug! You are good business sir.
Posted by: Tina | 06/25/2005 at 06:07 AM
Business COMMA sir, I mean.
Posted by: Tina | 06/25/2005 at 07:55 AM
don't shower.
being lazy is work that requires a certain uniform.
Posted by: gitchee | 06/25/2005 at 08:25 AM
your next adventure sounds like it might involve a little soap & water :)
Posted by: Janine | 06/25/2005 at 11:05 AM
I hear ya' on that one. I'm so lazy today that I actually had to summon the motivation to type this comment. I 'heart' lazy days. Decompression = good.
Posted by: Sandra | 06/26/2005 at 02:11 AM
Sleeznyak? Slug? I thought Sleeznyaks were those humanoid reptilian like creatures on "Land of the Lost".
Posted by: margaret | 06/26/2005 at 03:57 PM
Sleeznyak. Sleestak. So close, and yet so very far away. I'm disturbed, btw, that they're making a "Land of the Lost" movie. God help us all.
Posted by: Merujo | 06/26/2005 at 11:43 PM
See, I don't get the "I havent showered because I dont have to be anywhere" thing.
I LOVE showers. I would quite happily spend a lazy day have 7 or 8 showers.
Posted by: Sponky | 06/27/2005 at 04:23 AM
Shane, while you're busy being a total slug-boy, consider snapping some shots for The Human Clock. You take some cool L.A. pictures. Make yourself some time signs and go nuts, dude.
Human Clock: http://www.humanclock.com/
Posted by: Merujo | 06/27/2005 at 08:54 PM
I love Neverwhere. You should check out Stardust - which is coming up for Matthew Vaughnn. Neil Gaiman really does steal you away into his own little world.
Posted by: Ryan K | 06/27/2005 at 09:50 PM
Fuck, I miss See's Candy. Especially the lemon truffles. And have you read the Sandman graphic novels yet? Neverwhere was my gateway drug, too.
Posted by: x | 06/29/2005 at 05:09 PM