I don't know why I'm so afraid of a structured life. Truthfully, I don't know how my wife puts up with me. I like to live moment to moment; she can't even get me to commit to any daily plan. When the weekend comes, she wants to beat out each segment of the weekend to maximize our time. If it were up to me, I'd lay on the couch until a whim struck me. It must be almost unbearable for a normal person like her to live with a freak like me. Her patience is the only reason we last. Seriously.
So I have an office now. I mentioned that in the last post, but I wanted to elaborate. I have, without trying, joined the world that lives by a normal schedule. I suppose I've been a part of that world since I started working on "Rich Girls," but my freelance status on that show and "Newlyweds" always gave me a sense of freedom, even if only imagined freedom. This is not my first office job. I worked briefly for an "Internet Startup" in the closing months of the "Internet Boom," and witnessed firsthand the "Internet Boom Ending." I showed up to work, was called into a meeting with the rest of the employees, saw boxes lined in the back of the room and listened as we were collectively fired, effective immediately. The "V.C. people backed out, there's no real interest, there's no capital to keep it alive, we are all done." That was the gist. We were not even allowed access to our computers. "Clear out your desks, use these boxes, be gone in an hour." The two weeks severance promised never came and I became a casualty of the Dotcom Bubble Burst.
This is different. This has longevity if I want it to. This career has the potential to become golden handcuffs. Right now, that doesn't intimidate me. I love this job so far. There is novelty in my "own office" and excitement in my position here. Things are good. Things are great.
So why this nagging feeling of dread about entering what is essentially "Corporate America?" I mean, it's not REAL Corporate America. It's TV production. But in a way it is Corporate America. I've become VIACOM's bitch.
I'm 95% cool with that and 5% wary.
My office needs some decor. Any ideas?
bull horns and a giant stuffed marlin. i suggest garage sales and ebay or maybe even www.freecycle.org ?
Posted by: hammy | 08/20/2004 at 11:15 PM
Did you get the "Viacom's bitch" line from "The Ultimate Film Fanatic" ?!
Posted by: Jen B. | 08/21/2004 at 06:59 AM
get rid of that obtrusive ladder in the corner of your office you used to take that picture
Posted by: Todd | 08/22/2004 at 01:35 AM
You need a "happy place" on your desk, made up of whatever things relieve tension for you. (I have a bouquet of smiling stuffed daisies - bought at the dollar store - go figure)
And half of that bulletin board must be earmarked for your photo collage. :)
Posted by: bova | 08/23/2004 at 12:57 AM